Initial Assessment From CAFCASS
- Sonny's Dad
- Oct 12, 2023
- 4 min read
Updated: Oct 10, 2023
Within a couple of weeks oy my meeting with CAFCASS I unexpectedly heard back from them.
I knew that they were due to meet with Sarah shortly after my meeting however I didn't expect to hear from them again until their report findings were put before the courts at the next hearing.
It would appear that the CAFCASS officer was being pro active. He called me to discuss what the developments were. For me it was good news, for Sarah and Margaret I suspect not so - they were losing their control over Sonny.
From what I can recall the CAFCASS officer had met with Sarah and her family.
He'd listend to what they had to say and obviously came to the understanding early on that Sarah and Margaret were enforcing parental alienation on me and my family.
Without criticising Sarah, he told me that Sarah she'd become very emotional and distressed during the meeting, at first I wasn't exactly sure what this meant - was she playing the victim again, to try and convince CAFCASS Sonny shouldn't have a Dad? I wasn't sure.
I did expect her to do this as she'd lied about so many things so I didn't expect her to stop at the court room but it would appear that there was more to this outburst that what I initially understood. I found out years later, via Sarah.
It turns out at this meeting she went ballistic with CAFCASS and, in her words, 'completely lost it'. From what I know about dealing with CAFCASS you have to stay calm, balanced and objective. Seemingly, Sarah blew her gasket and CAFCASS saw first hand what I was having to deal with. Naturally this played into my favour as I don't think CAFCASS liked what they saw.
So, during our conversation the officer had decided on an immediate approach to moving forward and and wasn't going to wait for the next court hearing.
He'd suggested to Sarah and Margaret that Sonny's contact with me was to resume immediately and he proposed a way forward. He wanted me to see Sonny every other Saturday for 2 hrs each time to reintroduce Sonny to his Dad.
I was elated! I new that if it was my word against Sarah's in a court room there was no way any sensible judge would not see the level of parental alienation I was being subjected too and that acting in Sonny's best interest they would see I was a decent person, my family were decent people and that Sonny would be better off with us in his life as well - I just didn't expect CAFCASS to be as effective as they were.
Not only that he said to me that if everything goes well he'd suggested that Sonny can come over to Manchester at Christmas time for a couple of hrs on Boxing Day. I had to drive over to Dronfield in the morning, get Sonny bring him back to Manchester then drive him back to Dronfield a couple of hrs later. Sarah wasn't willing to facilitate with even a small part of the journey to assist Sonny but that was fine. I knew she'd be too bitter at this stage for that given it must have been difficult for her to accept that against her will Sonny was going to see his Dad and paternal family at Christmas,
There was a down side though - and a big one. The bi weekly contact had to take place at Sarah's parents house.
To say this was a choker was an understatement. I knew what part Margaret had played in the parental alienation between Sonny and me and to have to sit in her house to see my own child made me feel sick. I was and still am very disturbed about what Margaret did and the role she played in sabotaging our relationship with Sonny but if that's what I had to so to see Sonny, I was willing to suck it up and get on with it.
I remember the CAFCASS officer saying to me - "Chris, don't be late and don't miss any of the days you are supposed to be there and if it goes well I'll see what else I can do". I felt like saying to him - "I've never been late for Sonny and I've always been there for him" but I didn't as I felt at this stage CAFCASS had been very balanced in my dealings with them so I let it ride, I just said - "You've got nothing to be concerned about regarding my dedication to Sonny and I'll prove it to you and the courts".
And with that a date was set for me to see Sonny, after such a long time I was going to see him again. My family was over the moon, they couldn't wait and neither could I. At this stage unfortunalty Sonny's paternal grandparents and auntie weren't allowed to see him but in time I believed Sarah and Margaret wouldn't be able to stand in their way.
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