Grandparents Contact
- Sonny's Dad
- Apr 30, 2024
- 4 min read
Updated: Jul 10, 2024
As the weeks and months went by contact was seamless. I was there on time every week to see Sonny. Taking him out on each occasion and slowly he was becoming more adjusted and comfortable just being out with me.
I often look back and think he was a brave little soldier at that time. He didn’t really know me but he was taking the word of Margaret that he was going to be ok and he’d have a nice time. Of course he was going to ok and Margaret was right, he was going to have a nice time but still he was so little and innocent I would have understood if he was a little hesitant. That being said maybe it was his instinct that knew he’d be safe with me, maybe somewhere in his being he knew who I was and was connected without either of us actually really knowing.
As said previously, due to me having to be in Dronfield to see him and as there’s little you can really do in an hour. There’s even less you can do if it’s raining so basically if it was dry we’d wonder round the streets, the woods or go down to the fields and play ball and if it was pissing down we’d be left with no other option than to go to the garden center – not exactly exciting for Sonny but that was all we could do.
At some point during the contact period Cafcass contacted me, they queried that given everything was going so well with Sonny why my parents (Sonny’s grandparents) hadn’t been on one of the visits. I quite obviously said to Cafcass “because no one has said they can do!” He said they Sarah’s parents were questioning why the hadn’t been and I remember my response was “what planet do they live on, I’m going through a court process to force Sarah to allow me to Sonny, I daren’t be 1 minute late or early, I feel like I’m in the GDR and the Gestapo are constantly looking to snitch on me, I have no idea what’s allowed here and what isn’t………….of course they are desperate to see him, they are broken having suffered grandparental alienation, they will be here like a shot if they are allowed”. Cafcass said they’d work on it immediately and make arrangements with Margaret for them to be able to attend – I couldn’t wait to tell them!
Whilst I don’t remember exactly what I said when I did told them they were able come with me to see him what I do remember was it was very emotional for them all, his Auntie Jo was there as well and she was very upset by it, I think overwhelmed – it had been a long time for me but it had been even longer for them. They had to be thankful of a picture here and there that I managed to take of him.
I think if I remember the first contact they had with Sonny at Margaret’s house we weren’t allowed out. I knew that would be extremely difficult for my Dad. My Mum can roll with the punches, she would have been pragmatic about it “I want to see Sonny, then this is what I have to do”. My Dad on the other hand I knew would find it tough to be told so sit in Margaret’s house after everything her and Sarah had done.
My Mum & Dad treated Sarah like a princess, like their own daughter. They really cared for her and looked after her whenever she was in Manchester. They’d also sided with Sarah at the outset and I’m sure that weighed on their conscious that they took the side of someone who went on to betray them over their own son. That said, we were where we were and against every fibre of his body he agreed to sit in their house to see Sonny.
On the day of their first contact with Sonny, it was uneventful in regards to any issues. Everyone played their part that day to make sure we all got through the 2 hrs with Sonny without anyone opening up old sore wounds. I’m sure Margaret didn’t want us there as much as we didn’t want to be there but here we were, this is where the court process takes you. This is what Sarah signed us all up for when she had to be forced into a court room to let her son see his Dad.
Over time Sonny’s auntie was able to be included in the contact. I did feel sorry his Auntie Jo as she was left out a bit at the beginning as there was pecking order of me, then his grandparents then his auntie. I know it bothered her but she understood. When they were finally allowed to see each other is was like they’d never been apart! Sonny was obsessed with her they had a really natural chemistry. I fondly remember some really lovely days out in the par during those times as a family, me Sonny, Nana & Grandad and Auntie Jo. Sonny was slowly connecting with us again. Ok, we may have given him a bit more ice cream that his Mum and Margaret would have given him but there was 4 of use vying for his attention and if Sonny wanted ice cream when were with him the only question “was how big do you want you ice cream Sonny!”
As far as Cafcass were concerned the progress with Sonny’s reintegration to us was text book – it couldn’t have gone any better, this was exactly what Cafcass wanted to see as in a way they’d took a punt on me. They believed me over Sarah at the outset so they wanted nothing more than to go in front of a judge at court and tell them that their recommendations for Sonny were proving beneficial too him and that I, the alleged person who didn’t give a shit about him according to Sarah and Margaret, was after all a good Dad.
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