Negative Influence and Parental Alienation
- Sonny's Dad
- Jul 12, 2024
- 5 min read
Updated: Jul 16, 2024
I think it’s fair to say that I always thought Sarah was very emotional. I suppose that would be an understatement based on what I saw and experienced but I don’t want to personally attack her, I’ll keep it factual. She is the way she is and having spent many years in her orbit I know that she knows how she is, it’s how she’s made.
No one is perfect, and I include myself in that and everyone I know but I suppose there are levels of imperfections.
Unfortunately the Family Courts feed the imperfections of people like Sarah, it’s just a fact.
Where I believe Sarah really lost control over herself was her absolute determination to control Sonny and indirectly me and the Family Courts and rogue solicitors fed that mania.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it here, in my view Sarah thought that by becoming pregnant she would be able to keep or control me. She played a very, very high risk game and lost.
Obviously I’ll never prove it and she’ll always deny but I know her, I know the relationship we were in and I know that when she became pregnant all she, her family, my family wanted us to do was settle down and when they finally accepted that I just could not live with Sarah and that we now had a very unhealthy relationship everything changed.
She never wanted a situation where she was on her own with a child, that wasn’t what she set out to achieve, she wanted us to have settled down and I said I’ll be the babies (Sonny) Dad and I’ll support you but this relationship has to end, that was when I felt the full wrath of both Sarah and Margaret, that was the beginning.
When Sarah first told me she was pregnant my immediate thoughts were “she’s done this to control me” and I was right.
All that being said I know for a fact Sarah had bad influences around her. Obviously Margaret was always there with her own agenda promoting parental alienation and actively alienating Sonny’s paternal family. I think ultimately that is where Sarah’s mania comes from, it’s the inability to be accountable, I saw it in Margaret.
However beyond that there were other people in her ear. Over the time that I was with Sarah I met a few of her friends, mainly the ones in and around her wider family but she also had a group if divorcee/separated women whom she worked with at the Hallamshire. They were in her ear from the get go and unfortunately they were the ones her sent her down the legal route as they’d had experience themselves.
Those people know who they are and what they did to encourage Sarah and unfortunately introducing her to the idea of a solicitor who would willing tell her exactly how to make things difficult for me and Sonny, not resolve them, and gladly take her money was like giving heroin to a junkie.
It merely fueled the flame of control that burned inside Sarah and I hold them partially responsible for happened with Sonny, they were a bad, negative and corrosive influence on Sarah.
The emotional and psychological impact on a child is unquantifiable. Did those people who were encouraging these things think of the emotional and psychological impact on Sonny, the fact he was going grow up without a Dad, irrespective of what they thought of Sarah’s relationship with me, they didn’t know me.
Sonny is 19 now and for the best part of 13/14 years he hasn’t had a Dad. They may well have done the same thing to their ex partners, maybe driven by pure bitterness, but that has nothing to do with a child, their dysfunctional adult relationship is their problem.
Forget about the damage they inflicted on me and my family, think about the damage they inflicted on Sonny, he had to be put in front of child psychologists the second time I took Sarah to court and he was telling lies about the quality of our time together. He was a young boy and they encouraged a situation that saw him being psychologically assessed – what kind of people are they?
Sonny knows a life without his Dad and his paternal family not just because of Sarah and Margaret and their very expensive lawyers Sarah instructed to stop Sonny having a Dad but by those bitter pathetic and puerile individuals.
When they set Sarah on a journey to try and hurt me they should have looked at Sonny, a little innocent baby vulnerable to everyone around him making decisions for their own benefit, that nearly 20 years later he would have rejected his Dad because of what they had a hand in.
People like that generally live quite sad, pathetic unhealthy lives and the turmoil of a family court and parental alienation reflects the characters that they are and the way they live.
Sarah did not need encouraging, what Sarah needed was people around her that didn’t foster and inflame her mind set but who actually brought sense to her with a long term view point.
Ironically the best people round her at that point was my family, they entirely supported her even against me at one point. They would have been able to guide her properly and in time we’d have had something that worked for us all. However when my parents were unable to convince me to remain with Sarah and both Sarah and Margaret dropped them, they simply used them at a time when they thought they could influence them to influence me.
Margaret never once did she have the decency to pick up the phone to them to try and resolve it. What she should have remembered was when my family was there for Sarah when Simon overdosed on drugs, we were all there for them as a family. And we all shared their tragedy. And why didn't she reach out to my family or ever try to resolve it with them? The answer to that is very simple - she didn't want to, Margaret as much as anybody wanted Sonny for herself - Margaret was more than happy to encourage parental alienation because it suited her own self interest.
For several years after the first court application me and Sarah did actually build some bridges, our relationship improved dramatically and everyone benefited from that but Sarah never forgot how easily she could pull the trigger on disruption and whilst I don’t actually think she wanted to live such a volatile existence she knew that she couldn’t help herself and those close to her should have took more responsibility for fueling someone who would ultimately lose all perspective of what she was doing.
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